Blended Families

With the advent of divorce, remarriage has become a normal phenomenon within our society (Dupuis, 2010). The first-time marriages tend to end in divorce about 50 percent of the time (Faber, 2004). Approximately 65 percent of those divorced remarry and bring children into the new family structure, thus creating a stepfamily (Adler-Baeder & Higginbotham, 2004). This creates a new normative family (Dupois, 2010). Utilizing the family systems theory within the original family dynamics, the application of the family system has just been compounded in regard to stepfamilies. Stepfamilies interject new family system variables into the interpersonal dynamics involved, which create many imbalances and cause old normative behaviors to need to be recalibrated. In a sense, this is the merging of two different norms, causes the proverbial pendulum to swing to the opposite extreme in some instances and creates the necessity of recalibration to settle into the new family norm.

Some considerations must be addressed in the therapeutic relationship, for the remarried couple's subsystem is a critical determining factor in the quality of the new blended family (Dupuis, 2007). Helping the remarried couple subsystem understand how their relationship is a key quality indicator by clearing a pathway is important to their ability to lead their now blended family. The therapist can discuss and relate past experiences from each of their previous family systems to the creation of their new developing common history (Visher, E., & Visher, J., 2003). Cherlin (1978) states that not only does our society lack norms about how stepfamilies should act toward each other but also that blended families lack adequate norms. Each blended family must decide how it will overcome the previous well-established norms that have followed from first marriages. Papernow states that the blended family lacks the necessary resources of shared values, mutual affections, and feelings of unity (1987), which result from shared experiences which they have not had the proper time to create together as a family unit. This integration process into the new blended family norms has been found to take an average of five to seven years (Visher, E., & Visher, J., 2003). The therapist actively needs to reassure the family through this overcoming position by normalizing their feelings in light of the specific variables involved in their particular situation. Instead of comparing themselves to other families, they must instead consider a proper course of action for their specific situation. The therapist needs to create a therapeutic alliance with each family member. The therapist needs to facilitate each family member's understanding of their new current situation is a new and different set of relationships in contrast to their previous experience in their original family, to now a blended family.

References

Adler-Baeder, F., & Higginbotham, B. (2004). Implications of remarriage and stepfamily formation for marriage education. Family Relations, 53 (5), 448--458.

Cherlin, A. J. (1978). Remarriage as an incomplete institution. American Journal of Sociology, 84, 634--650.

Dupuis, S. B. (2007). Examining remarriage: A look at issues affecting remarried couples and the implications towards therapeutic techniques. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 48 (1/2), 91--104.

Faber, A. J. (2004). Examining remarried couples through a Bowenian family systems lens. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 40 (3/4), 121--133.

Visher, E., & Visher, J. (1996). Therapy with stepparents. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Visher, E., & Visher, J. (2003). The remarried family: Characteristics and interventions. In E. Visher & J. Visher (Eds), Textbook of Family and Couples Therapy: Clinical Applications (pp. 523--538). Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Publishing.